Fears and What if?

I knew that being a mom would require me to partake in a few sleepless nights.  I was ecstatic when my children slept through the night on a regular basis. Unfortunately being a parent of a Type 1 Diabetic is reminiscent of those months of infant wake up calls. Usually now my wake up calls belong to an alarm clock every two-three hours a night, a few days a month.  I do this to make sure Sunny's blood sugar is staying level through the night and sometimes just to reassure myself everything Sunny ate was covered correctly; too low she may go into severe hypoglycemia or too high she develops hyperglycemia which leads to ketones. 
Ketones or Diabetic ketoacidosis is a serious complication of diabetes that occurs when your body produces very high levels of blood acids called ketones. Diabetic ketoacidosis develops when you don't have enough insulin in your body. Without enough insulin, your body begins to break down fat as an alternate fuel. This produces toxic acids in the bloodstream called ketones, which can lead to diabetic ketoacidosis if untreated. Diabetic ketoacidosis signs and symptoms often develop quickly. Here are the symptoms:
Excessive thirst and urination
Abdominal pain, nausea, and/or vomiting
Loss of appetite
Weakness or fatigue
Shortness of breath
Sweet scented breath
For many diabetics ketosis will lead to their diagnosis.  It is also something we deal with more than we would like. It often means long nights and days, a lot of vomit (there is a reason I never wanted to be a nurse), paging doctors at inconvenient times (we are very blessed to have doctors call in prescriptions or guide us through what to do), arguing with ER staff that your child does not have a gastrointestinal virus (they're always very polite after getting off the phone with her specialist) and trusting that when we give her an enormous amount of insulin she will survive (we did learn a new trick this past weekend - give her a piece of candy to keep her from going to low - maybe there is a reason we keep Dum Dums in the house). 
 All joking aside ketosis is extremely dangerous and can result in fatality.  As a mother that alone could keep me up at night.  The fear that what if I somehow made a mistake when I thought I had done everything correctly. I cannot live in fear of what if. Instead I  choose to live in faith. Faith that God will keep her safe, He will give me the wisdom and strength I need to be her mother, and she is mine because He trusts me with her and loves her more than I could ever imagine.

Confessions of a Cupcakeaholic

There are few things in life that I get very excited about.  Chocolate, getting deep into the word of God with friends, a great movie, going to the city, cheesecake, an iced white chocolate mocha, Brownie Obsession from TGIFridays, and cupcakes.  

Looking at this list I can see why I may have a problem with my weight :) I tend to compromise with the fact I have to give up being in the sun.  I also tend to use this as an explanation to Sunny when she catches me eating a treat. I explain to her you get to go out in the sun whenever you want. Yes, I know it's not very mature, but it does make us both laugh!

This past week we went to Washington D.C. For the 100th Anniversary of Girl Scouts.  We participated in the world's largest sing along,  visited the Smithsonian, many monuments, and made an unscheduled pit stop to Georgetown Cupcakes.  Georgetown Cupcakes has become famous due to the tv show DC Cupcakes.  I will admit it was not totally unscheduled. As soon as we knew we were going to D.C., we were trying to figure out how and when we could fit it in.  When I realized it was just a 5 minute drive from our hotel, I made an executive decision that we would be there. 

I knew it was meant to be after going around the block once and finding a parking spot in front of the building then only waiting 10 minutes in line.  We ordered a half dozen and of coarse I had to buy a hat.  On the trip home we enjoyed one each.  I saved two to savor at home. Now this is where I realize I may have problem.  As we arrived home our pet sitter was leaving, Jim asked me if I had one left to give her. I looked at my two cupcakes in my precious pink box and said no. I could not part with them. The next morning as I savored them for breakfast guilt began to set in.  I realized I may have a cupcake problem.  The first sign should have been when I worked at the mall, the snack shop had a hostess package and diet coke waiting for me every morning. When I worked for a catering company the pastry chef would have me sample the cakes. Then when I taught preschools I began to look forward to students birthdays in hopes parents would send in cupcakes. There were always extra but none ever made it home. I found out the hard way there isn't enough time to eat a cupcake on the car ride home from a trip to the grocery store in a small town. When we lived in Cincy I knew I could stop by the bakery counter for a treat to enjoy in traffic. There also may be a reason I never make the kids clean out the car.

So I confess, I enjoy my cupcakes. I apologize in advance for not sharing. I can't be in the sun so why not enjoy a cupcake instead! (I probably should learn to enjoy in moderation though.)