When the kids were little and we found ourselves with an empty cardboard tube we would look through and see each other. They seemed small and far away, only seeing a glimpse of them. They would let go to see all of me and laugh. I’ve realized this is how I am looking for hope. It’s a scary place to be. I have been asking God just let me see you work this out. Let me see this pain is not in vain. Let me see hope.
I did not realize I have been looking through a cardboard tube. Only looking for hope where I want to see it. When life is difficult I look to glimpses of hope to continue on. But what hope looks like may not be what I am looking for. I want to see hope as everything will return to normal one day...justice, healing, no celiac, diabetes, lupus, or autism. Hope may be found in all of this but not in where I am looking.
My vision of hope is too small. Hope comes in an hour of peace, Hey, do you need to talk, walks in the woods, ugly crying in safe spaces, serving others. This week I went looking for hope but I didn’t look to see hope only in my present situation. I put the tube down and started looking all around. And I glimpsed hope. The boy found a job...a message from a long lost friend...a hot muggy walk in the woods...the most amazing gluten free grilled cheese. These were the moments that brought me the most joy. This is where I opened my eyes to glimpse hope not just in my situation but in my daily life. This is where I am beginning to see hope again.
Where do you see hope?
Oh and if you ever wondered if God has a sense of humor...I was asked to help on a youth retreat next week. Guess where I’m staying....Hope College!
