Speak Out Against the Darkness

School starts in less than two weeks. After a fairly calm summer, night terrors have returned. I can’t tell you what the connection is, maybe mother’s intuition, but I wake. I stand at his door and hear his wrestling. Nothing breaks our hearts more than watching our children suffer. 

Asking for help is all we have left. And to be honest it’s not much different than dealing with a chronic illness. Life is not meant to be done alone. Sadly, sexual assault is treated differently. In the end all we want is for our son to find healing. And as I’ve said before there is no healing in darkness. 

Healing comes when we choose to walk away from the darkness and shift towards a brighter light.

~Dieter Uchtdorf 

Today I just needed to release my frustration with trying to figure out how to help our son and I can’t be strong for my son when I am struggling with my own emotions. Spinning at our local Y helps me. I have no idea how torturing my body on a bike allows me to let go emotionally, but it works. There was no class this morning, I sat on a bike in the dark and peddled away my  frustration. Allowing my mind to break through the darkness I feel and shift towards a brighter light.

As I was leaving I glanced over and saw the prayer request board. How I longed to speak the truth of what has happened to our son and to allow our community to come behind him in prayer. I have walked past this board over a hundred times since we found out. Each time I passed I told myself this is too much to share. This is considered private.  

THIS SHOULD NOT BE PRIVATE.  

A substitute teacher, who was once in our community and has since moved on, groomed and assaulted our son. 

Today I walked back to the board and picked up a sheet. I shakily wrote the truth. For a moment I debated whether to fill in the contact information on the back. Being anonymous meant keeping this private, remaining in the darkness. I signed my name and asked my community to be behind our son and family in prayer. 

No longer is remaining anonymous okay for our family. Being anonymous only keeps us in the dark.

If you or someone you love has been sexually assaulted please seek help.

www.rainn.org   1-800-656-HOPE

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**Anonymity was how our family started this process of healing. There is nothing wrong with reporting anonymously. Our family is at a place where we feel the best thing is for our voices to be heard regarding the devastating affects of child sexual assault.