Thursday, April 5, 2018

What Do You Have to Share?

This morning I read a little gift and it was SO needed. Each day is a gamble when you live with Lupus, Celiac, or any chronic illness. Today, I am in pain and after changing out of my pajamas and walking downstairs I am exhausted. Today, we have doctor's appointments. Hello! Today is not a good day...but we don’t get this choice. 


What I did get this morning was a gift of wisdom. As I turned off my alarm I pondered whether to take a quick scroll through social media or open my Bible app. Today, like most days when I make the right choice, I find a little gift. 


Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

Hebrews 13:16 


It is easy to become disheartened when you have to say no I can’t help. We forget we each do good in different ways and have different things to share. Recently there have been several families in my community needing meals. I want to do good and share what I have with others but I’m not dependable because it's a gamble to know if I'll be well enough. I used to be frustrated with myself. Now, I know saying no is okay. I have to do what I am able to do, this is all, not what good I see every one else doing, what they have to share.


I may not have money to donate to a cause or energy to provide a meal for a family but I am able to send an encouraging word. What I have most days are words or just a smile. Giving what I have is not hard, it’s just that sharing what I have feels a little risky at times. And what I have to share is not what you have to share. Maybe you are a listener, a doer. Whether you have financial resources, musical talent, the gifts of wisdom, teaching, or listening we just need to use what we have and share it. There is a saying about Lupus. I have Lupus, Lupus doesn’t have me. Yes, I have Lupus, but I also have gifts I can continue to share with others. Today what I have to share will not include getting much physically accomplished (the laundry pile from my last post may have doubled in size) but I have words and a smile. 


What do you have to share?





Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Whole30 take 2: Doing Life in the Mess


I was planning on preparing for a new Whole30, but here I am just jumping in today. Honestly, I was going to start talking about my second Whole30 weeks ago and do prep, then like my life tends to do, it imploded. So, here I am telling you why I’m starting today because yesterday I had thrown in the towel. 

Our family has lived in crisis mode for awhile now. Some days are hard and you have to reach out and say I can’t do this alone. Our Easter was a nice dinner then full out war. War of emotions and anger. When I woke up, after very little sleep I sat in front of my bible and just realized I can’t do this alone. I reached out for prayer, I turned to scripture that had been shared with me. 2 Chronicles 20, because honestly at this time in our life there are no handbooks for our situation. And it’s hard. And just like King Jehoshaphat we are crying out, We do not know what to do, so let’s just keep focusing on you God. 

Yesterday, I was ready do nothing. I wanted to put on my comfy clothes, binge watch tv, and escape. I didn’t want to make hard phone calls, emails to case workers, and schools, let alone fold the laundry. Having a child with special needs is a full time job and I wanted to call in. But we don’t, because our kids need us. So, I was like no way am I starting my Whole30. And all day I argued with myself. It’s too hard right now.

But it’s giving in, hiding in the car eating my feelings. Hating myself. I don’t want that. It’s not good for me, it’s not good for my family. I remember how well I felt on my first Whole30  and let me tell you life was not peachy back then either. So, I’m going to get off this couch make me some Whole30 approved breakfast of sweet potato and eggs, and jump into what I can control. Today is going to be hard emotionally, tomorrow is not looking easier. This is a long journey we are on but I have to take care of my body and my emotions. On my last Whole30 I felt I could do this. Hopefully life won’t be as messy and I will blog more this time around or maybe I’ll blog more and just ignore the mess. 

So, here’s to getting off the couch and doing life in the mess! Maybe, I’ll fold the laundry, nah, who am I kidding!