What I thought would be a great discussion became a "lecture". Now, I never knew a lecture was two people discussing a concept or subject. In my mind, a lecture is one person sharing information on their opinions of a concept or subject without discussion. According to our son with Aspergers, if I am speaking it's considered a lecture.
Looks like I am getting the lesson today...
We have been using The Giver by Lois Lowry for his language arts. As we've been reading and lecturing/discussing each chapter, I've learned how differently our son perceives the world. We are near the end of the book. Jonas, the protagonist, is given the memory of love. In Jonas's society an expression of love would be inappropriate. A better choice is I enjoy you or I am proud of your accomplishments. A more specific description of how you feel about someone.
Here is where my lesson and "lecture" began. I ask a question. How do you describe love? His answer. I don't understand. What do you mean? I try another approach. How do you know we love you? He shrugs his shoulders....My heart breaks a little...I change my approach again. Do you understand if I say I enjoy being with you? Yes, it means you like being with me.
And here is where I probably turn our discussion into a lecture. I want him to understand love. I don't want him to miss understanding the most powerful gift we are given...to love one another. I try to give him a new perspective. If you enjoy watching videos, do you want to do it as much as you can? Do you think about it when you're not? Do you research new videos to watch? Does it make you sad when you don't have screen privileges? Yes.
If you love someone you want to be with them as much as you can. You think about them when they're not with you. You find new ways to make them happy. When you can't be with them you're sad. Do you understand?
It's 4:30, you said we'd be done at 4:30 and I could watch my video, can I watch my video?
I enjoy you. He smiles and shakes his head.
I'll take it.
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