Thursday, January 29, 2015

Changing My Response

Some days are good. Some days are ok. Some days are bad. Then some days are so bad you are left weak.

How I would love to tell you I was strong...that I didn't cry...that I found hope. In the moment it is hard to stand strong, to breathe. I am left weak.

Sometimes you have to hold it together because you can't fall apart now. Not in the moment. You have to stand strong...even when your legs go weak...your breath is frozen...your heart aches.  

You will find the will to stand, the patience, and strength. You will breathe. 

You will remember this moment will pass. 

You will not give up. You will hope. 

You know your situation isn't changing. Only how you respond can change.

Our normal is still our normal. Our daughter is still diabetic. Our son still has Aspergers. I still have Lupus. Our medical bills are still not paid. Our hope to adopt still unfulfilled.

No matter what you are facing you can find hope. Hope in the illness, your child's pain, financial burdens, loss. Hope can be found. 

I find Hope in saying yes I can survive this, even though deep down I want to say I give up. I have to reach even deeper and ask for the strength and patience I don't have. I have to call out.

The situation has not changed but I am changing my response. Hope. I will tell my self keep digging deeper, fight the urge to give up. Humble myself and realize I can't always find hope on my own. Remind myself God has never let me down. When I can't find the words nor the strength to speak, He hears. He restores my hope.


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