Sunday, December 22, 2013

I Can't, I Quit

Lately I've wanted to throw in the towel. Yell, I quit at the top of my lungs. This is not something new. Quitting is always my first reaction to life's troubles. My mind momentarily shouts RUN, your not capable. Then I regain my thoughts and remember I am not alone. I can do this. 

I make the mistake of turning on Netflix instead of opening my bible. I use tv as an escape. It's much easier to live life in someone else's life. Their problems will be settled by season end. If only I could skip forward to the end, but that wouldn't be living my life.

My life full of troubles. We all have something we struggle with if we're honest. If we're authentic we can say I need a shoulder to cry on, I need a sister to tell me the truth in love, a safe place to confess my sins, a friend to hold me accountable.

Tomorrow I will not wake up and be healed of Lupus, have a perfect marriage, a child without Type 1 Diabetes, or Autism. No, tomorrow I will awake and do my best to get out of bed despite fatigue and joint pain; love unconditionally; monitor blood sugar and boluses, encourage her when she feels different from all the other kids; be patient when he's upset we're off schedule or plans have changed.

I will do my best because even though I begin to think I can't, I quit. God reminds me I can. God has put me here, allowed troubles to arise, and given me everything I need.

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9, 10 HCSB)