I'm normally pretty optimistic but I sometimes find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop...the next life struggle. My life has been filled with shoes. I’ve seen my mom battle cancer, move with my family across the country after we lost everything, lose my sister to Lupus, develop Lupus symptoms myself...and that was the first 14 years of my life.
I will tell you that despite all those struggles there are blessings...remission, family and friends grow close, my perspective changes. I learned to see the blessings despite the struggles. And yes, you grow stronger and perseverance builds character.
This past month the other shoe dropped. Our family hit by the unthinkable. These things only happen to other people but it doesn’t. This is life. Real life is broken, full of tragedies, and struggles amongst the blessings.
When the other shoe drops where do I find myself? I want to think positive and hold on to the lessons I’ve learned. Sometimes before I get there I end up here - tired of being strong. Those sayings - what breaks you only makes you stronger, perseverance builds character. I really don’t want to hear them. I’m tired of being strong, trying to persevere. I can read optimistic words about strength and perseverance. Tell myself it will be okay again. It doesn’t change my hurting heart.
What does bring me strength and perseverance? I stop being strong alone. I begin with God. I take time to sit and just be in his presence. I dwell. Allowing myself to first rest in Him, I begin to see moments of peace. Find strength to get through today. I have the gentle reminder life isn’t meant to live alone.
I do believe we grow stronger through our struggles, perseverance builds character. They’re more than cheesy sayings. They are truth. Maybe not what I want to hear when I’m in the struggle. When life is going well I store up truths so when the shoe drops I remember where to dwell. Find my strength, just not alone.
**Currently our family is facing a mountain of a struggle. Part of finding strength is reaching out to others. We are keeping the details of this mountain private. We could use your prayers during this journey. Our family believes whole heartedly we serve a mighty God who will bring peace, justice, and healing. Thank you.